BITWRATHPLOOB World Tour

Aloha, BITWRATHPLOOB!1
lizkover posted in Arrivals, Departures on February 18th, 2009

They had known for weeks that a surprise visitor was on “his” way.

Much to my friends’ dismay (and utter confusion), it was The Bitwrathploob.

The animals wondered if the Ploob was one of them…

He seemed to feel fine after his long flight from Boston, so we showed him around the pad and let him get a feel for how we do things around here.

With his rope arms “tied” behind his back, the Ploob jammed on Survivor’s “Eye of the Tiger”.

We were thrilled that he had come with his head intact, considering what we had read about it popping off rather easily. It wasn’t until about 30 minutes later that we realized he was missing his nose.

It just so happened that Chris was in the middle of reading “The Idiot’s Guide to Plastic Surgery on Freakish Inanimate Objects”, so we figured he was qualified to perform a quick nose job on the Ploob.

He whittled away on a small glob of wax, which he then impaled on the thin nail he had previously hammered into the Ploob’s nasal socket. While it sounds like it would be horrifically painful, apparently having no nerves cuts down dramatically on the sensation.

In no time, he was good as new. The only reason one would even be able to tell he had had work done was the fact that his old nose had been bright red, and his new one was a sophisticated white.

From that point on, it was non-stop Hawaiian fun and adventure for our pantsless friend…

Here he is standing in front of one of only two freshwater lakes on the whole Big Island. He didn’t want to swim, he said, because he worried about his hair getting frizzy. He was, however, fascinated by the rope swing (not pictured here). He said it looked just like a cousin of his.

He stood in the frozen path of molten lava that had coursed forth from the Kilauea volcano in 1881. This is Kaumana cave, located on the east side of the island, in Hilo.

Spelunking, anyone?

He soaked in some rays on the pristine lava rock beaches of the Kona coast.

He frightened the yellow tangs at Kahalu’u Beach Park.

He even took a tour of the Mauna Loa macadamia nut factory!

All in all, the Bitwrathploob enjoyed his vacation to the Islands of Paradise. And now is looking forward to getting back “on the road”.

Look for him soon in…[DESTINATION REDACTED FOR SHOCK VALUE]!

Pantsless0
erik posted in News on January 18th, 2009

Created with this online tool.

Salem Witch Hunt4
skopacek posted in Detours on December 5th, 2008

Bitwrathploob went on a day trip to Salem, Mass. for a festive, but morbid, celebration of the Salem Witch Hunts, of all things.

There, he met Hell boy,

and some friendly witches and wizards

Pah-ty!0
skopacek posted in Detours on December 5th, 2008

The ‘ploob was ready to pah-ty! So after having a delicious bee-ah

he played a some pool

and had a smoke

Boston0
skopacek posted in Arrivals on December 5th, 2008

The ‘Ploob arrived in Boston, smothered in bubble wrap

… and made a bagel in the toaster oven.

Lake Superiority Complex5
andrea posted in Departures, Detours on October 1st, 2008

For our last outing, the ‘Ploob got to go on a road trip. What’s more American than a road trip? We went north to check out the one Great Lake bordering Minnesota: Lake Superior.

It was a gorgeous Minnesota late summer day, all sunshine and heat – even “up north” in Duluth. We headed to Canal Park, one of the best places to get up close and personal with Lake Superior, and a place to get a novel look at some seafaring vessels.

“Is it any wonder that Duluthians and Minnesotan’s love this magnificent lake so much?”

Some facts about Lake Superior that we learned from this plaque:

• It has the largest surface area of all fresh water bodies in the world.
• It take the sun 30 minutes to arc over the lake.
• The time it takes for the average vessel to get from Duluth to the Atlantic Ocean via the St. Lawrence Seaway is seven days.
• “It is quite easy to imagine that it is the most wonderful lake in the world.”

Feeling inspired, we decided to head down the boardwalk to the Aerial Lift Bridge, to see if we could see any big ships coming or going.

And we did:

This particular vessel was from St. Johns, in the Caribbean (it’s blurry in the photo, but trust me, that’s what it says).

It was a hot day and all of this being in the sun was starting to wear on the ‘Ploob and me, so we went to the Portland Malt Shop for one of the most fantastic chocolate malts I’ve ever had. It was about a 20 minute wait to get a malt, but once we got ours, we could see what all the fuss was about.

There was also a great view of the lake from up on the hill where the malt shop is located.

On the way out of town, the ‘Ploob got one last scenic view of Lake Superior.

It just goes to show that Minnesota isn’t all about delicacies-on-a-stick and giant malls.

And now, my husband and I bid a fond farewell to the Bitwrathploob and send him to his next destination – but I’ll let that be a surprise.

The Great Minnesota Get-Together6
andrea posted in Detours on September 8th, 2008

Minnesotans sure like our State Fair. It’s often cited as one of the most successful and well-loved of the dying breed of State Fairs in the US. It helps that it’s located in the heart of the St. Paul area rather out in the sticks somewhere, so we’re reminded of it all year long.

Last year, I said I wasn’t going to go back to the Fair for a few years because I’d had my fill of crowds, heat, and deep fried concoctions on a stick. But the fact that the ‘Ploob’s stay here coincided with this yearly event was too good to pass up. Not only that, but my sister was visiting from Boston and she was feeling the urge to take a trip to the Great Minnesota Get-Together. So we gathered up the fam and hopped on a park-n-ride.

I kind of thought my family would think I was nuts when I pulled the Bitwrathploob out of my bag. I’d explained the concept and they kind of got it – “sort of like a traveling garden gnome,” my sister said.

But maybe weirder looking.

The first thing we did after fighting our way through throngs of Minnesotans was to stop at a coffee stand and sample the Mocha on a Stick. Every year there are several new foods and much time in spent anticipating and debating the latest culinary offerings. The Mocha on a Stick was excellent, especially since no one got the idea to deep fry it. I’m sure that will happen next year.

The carnivores in the family also couldn’t pass up a pronto pup. I had to admit I had a fond memory for the pronto pups of my youth. Hopefully the ‘Ploob will have a fond memory of his time with Pronto Pup man. Don’t ask me why he’s wearing a sombrero (full-length view here).

On the way to the Dairy Building (home of the best ice cream at the State Fair and — most (in)famously — Princess Kay of the Milky Way), we saw a kerfuffle ahead. Al Franken, Democratic candidate for the US Senate, and well-known comedian/satirist, was speaking. The ‘Ploob got a boost from my dad so he (it?) could see better.

The unairconditioned Dairy Building was packed with a mile-long line of sweaty Minnesotans trying to get some of that fantastic Dairy Building ice cream. But we managed to shoulder in close enough to the butter sculpture area before spilling back out of the building and basking in the breeze.

The Princess Kay of the Milky Way butter sculptures are one of the most famous aspects of the Minnesota State Fair. Every year there’s a competition among the young women from Minnesota dairy farming families and a whole set of Princesses is crowned. Princess Kay of the Milky Way is like the prom queen of the State Fair. The entire royal court is sculpted in butter over the course of the State Fair. Since we went towards the end of the Fair, we got to see most of the completed sculptures.

It’s also not much of a trip to the State Fair without checking out some of the farm animal judging, and some of the handicrafts.

The goats and alpacas were particularly cute. I thought the ‘Ploob looked like a distant relation of these Suri alpacas.

We also checked out the Creative Activities building, where you can look at beribboned fiber arts, woodcrafts, and all sorts of other crafts.

Perhaps the ‘Ploob would like to try flying himself (itself?) to his next vacation spot?

On the way out of the fair, we stopped to take a photo at the Space Tower (which is its official name, though I think we all call it the Space Needle as though it could compare to Seattle’s famous landmark). If you were to take a ride up to the top of the Space Needle, you’d get a nice view of the Twin Cities.

It’s impossible to see all of the Minnesota State Fair. We didn’t even get to the Midway area. But the ‘Ploob got a taste of it. And was probably wondering how he got stuck here, and feeling a bit wistful for his days visiting beautiful European architecture or the lush landscapes of New Zealand.

The very next day, the ‘Ploob did get a chance to see a beautiful landscape unique to this part of the world. But that is a topic for another post.

Greetings from Lake Wobegon, Minn.5
andrea posted in Detours on September 3rd, 2008

It was a glorious day in the Twin Cities the weekend after the ‘Ploob took up residence in my household.  My mom and I were registered for a yarn dying class in Linden Hills, one of the cuter neighborhoods in Minneapolis.  I decided to take the ‘Ploob along and show him a little of the city of my birth.

Minneapolis is known for it’s Chain of Lakes, a series of lakes within city limits that are all accessible to the public. There are bike and walking paths all around these lakes, public beaches, marinas, rose gardens, bandshells, and paths connecting the lakes to each other.

Lake Harriet is my personal favorite of the lakes. I spent a lot of time there in my childhood.  The BITWRATHPLOOB enjoyed meeting the ducks and did his (its?) best to not fall into the water.  In retrospect, I should have taken the ‘Ploob to the elf house at Lake Harriet.  I’m sure he would have found it refreshing to tower over a landmark, for once. Instead, he was dwarfed by the Lake Harriet Band Shell, a much-photographed landmark of the city.

After all this natural neighborhood beauty, it was time to take the ‘Ploob to see the crasser, more touristy side of the great north.

(more…)

The land of 10,000 lakes (and one bucktoothed, rope-armed, troll-haired pantsless wood bear)5
andrea posted in Arrivals on August 15th, 2008

My husband handed me a slip of paper the other day: a package was waiting for me at the post office. “Who’s Simon Litton?” Brad asked me. Slowly, the gears in my brain began to move. “Oh no!” I grabbed the paper and stared at it in disbelief. “It can’t be. The BITWRATHPLOOB!? Why on earth would the BITWRATHPLOOB want to come to Minnesota?”

The suspense stretched out for a few days because the post office keeps inconvenient hours, but Wednesday morning I carved out the time to go and fetch my dubious prize.

Looking more than a little bit worse for the wear, I gingerly accepted the package from the postal lady. Was the ‘Ploob trying to escape his solitary confinement? Or was it something more sinister? I wonder what terrible fate nearly befell him en route to the American midwest. I was contemplating this as I left the post office, but quickly all thoughts of misdeeds were banished from my mind as a family of four deer – two adults and two babies – gamboled by just a few feet past me. Welcome, ‘Ploob. Nothing scary will happen to you in the land of Minnesota Nice.

That evening, I liberated the ‘Ploob from his mangled box and checked for signs of damage. Despite the mangled box, the ‘Ploob remains in good health. As good of health as he (it?) can be in, considering his propensity for dropping body parts and his lack of other body parts (who needs hands, right?). Brad hovered in dismayed curiosity. I had told him a bit about the ‘Ploob when I received my lovely “BITWRATHPLOOB is my homie” refrigerator magnet several months ago, but the full glory of the ‘Ploob may always remain an enigma.

“That’s truly horrifying,” was the first thing he uttered, after I screwed the ‘Ploob’s head back on and proudly displayed him for my spouse to behold. The cats were equally perturbed by the … thing … that had invaded their territory.

The BITWRATHPLOOB, looking mighty glad to be out of his cramped quarters, currently resides out of reach of feline fangs, way up on the highest bookshelf.

Brad and I are planning a few outings for the ‘Ploob in the next couple of weeks. For now, I like to think he’s telling the Buddha raucous travel stories and the Buddha is teaching him all about meditation. Something that ought to come in handy during his long, dark, traumatic spells in shipping containers.

“There’s a voice keeps on callin’ me”2
simon posted in Departures, Detours on July 26th, 2008

Yes, just like The Littlest Hobo, BITWRATHPLOOB has heard the call of the open road, and he must heed it. Having had his fill of Belgium ‘Ploob just had time for a long weekend in Exeter, where he admired the cathedral, which has the longest unbroken gothic ceiling in the world, apparently.

Nearby, Mol’s Coffee House.

And then it was back to Brussels to be packed into a box and posted off to…..ah, but that would be telling, wouldn’t it? Goodbye, Mr ‘Ploob. It was an honour to spend time in your company.

By the way, some of you may have noticed that this site was unavailable for a short time, and it’s only thanks to Erik’s mad hosting skillz that it’s back up at all (bar a few of the most recent comments). Respect.