The land of 10,000 lakes (and one bucktoothed, rope-armed, troll-haired pantsless wood bear)5
andrea posted in Arrivals on August 15th, 2008
My husband handed me a slip of paper the other day: a package was waiting for me at the post office. “Who’s Simon Litton?” Brad asked me. Slowly, the gears in my brain began to move. “Oh no!” I grabbed the paper and stared at it in disbelief. “It can’t be. The BITWRATHPLOOB!? Why on earth would the BITWRATHPLOOB want to come to Minnesota?”
The suspense stretched out for a few days because the post office keeps inconvenient hours, but Wednesday morning I carved out the time to go and fetch my dubious prize.
Looking more than a little bit worse for the wear, I gingerly accepted the package from the postal lady. Was the ‘Ploob trying to escape his solitary confinement? Or was it something more sinister? I wonder what terrible fate nearly befell him en route to the American midwest. I was contemplating this as I left the post office, but quickly all thoughts of misdeeds were banished from my mind as a family of four deer - two adults and two babies - gamboled by just a few feet past me. Welcome, ‘Ploob. Nothing scary will happen to you in the land of Minnesota Nice.
That evening, I liberated the ‘Ploob from his mangled box and checked for signs of damage. Despite the mangled box, the ‘Ploob remains in good health. As good of health as he (it?) can be in, considering his propensity for dropping body parts and his lack of other body parts (who needs hands, right?). Brad hovered in dismayed curiosity. I had told him a bit about the ‘Ploob when I received my lovely “BITWRATHPLOOB is my homie” refrigerator magnet several months ago, but the full glory of the ‘Ploob may always remain an enigma.
“That’s truly horrifying,” was the first thing he uttered, after I screwed the ‘Ploob’s head back on and proudly displayed him for my spouse to behold. The cats were equally perturbed by the … thing … that had invaded their territory.
The BITWRATHPLOOB, looking mighty glad to be out of his cramped quarters, currently resides out of reach of feline fangs, way up on the highest bookshelf.
Brad and I are planning a few outings for the ‘Ploob in the next couple of weeks. For now, I like to think he’s telling the Buddha raucous travel stories and the Buddha is teaching him all about meditation. Something that ought to come in handy during his long, dark, traumatic spells in shipping containers.
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